Dark Paradise

In the midst of the tragic earthquake and subsequent tsunami that struck Japan in March 2011, I discovered a paradise located off of the coast of Panama.

Located off of the Pacific coast of Panama, Coiba Island is the largest island in Central America and perhaps it's best kept secret. It only takes a couple of hours on the island before you start to wonder how this gem has existed without your knowledge and without the crush of tourists or even locals for that matter.  But the island has a tragic past that has ironically helped to protect what might be one the most biodiverse places on the planet.

In 1919, the Island of Coiba was converted to a prison colony under the dictatorship of Omar Torrijos. The prison had a reputation for brutal conditions and the remoteness of the island not only made escape a nearly impossible proposition, but it ensured that political and other prisoners were kept away from any public scrutiny.  The prison was subsequently used by Manuel Noriega and remained open until 2004.  The brutal history of the island ironically transformed it into an ecological preserve, where it is estimated that up to 80% of the island may be pristine untouched Forest.

Get There and Get Out

My trip into and off of the island was as much of an adventure at times as the trip itself.  We arranged transport to Santa Catalina through the awesome Sol Y Mar Hostel and it consisted of a 6 hour taxi cab ride from Panama City.  Four of us plus the driver were a tight squeeze, but the ride cost us $230 total and the scenery was great along the way.  On the way out we took a local bus from Santa Catalina to Sona (about $5) and a slightly bigger bus from Sona to Santiago (~$8).  We ended up hiring a cab in Santiago to take us up to David and on to Boquete (3 hour ride).

Tours and Accommodation

Currently you are required to get a permit in advance to even travel to Coiba and as a result it is best to go out to the island with an outfitter.  There are a number of reputable dive shops and guides in Santa Catalina that can get you to the island and make sure that you have a place to stay.  We booked a 3 day sea kayaking trip with Fluid Adventures a highly recommended Canadian outfitter.The accommodations on the island are spartan but tolerable.  There are approximately 6 Ranger cabins equipped with clean linens, flush toilets, cold water shower and there is generally electricity from nightfall until morning.  The room also came with a nightly cockroach, noisy and decrepit air conditioner and ceiling tiles so stained they appeared to be alive. Relief comes from the chirp of geckos that I prayed nightly were eating creepy crawlers before they could get to me.   

 

The Highlights

I am not an ultra experienced snorkeler, but the snorkeling on Coiba and especially on the Islet of Granita del Oro is amazing.  We snorkeled for two days and swam with sea turtles, white tipped reef sharks, rays, urchins and hordes of tropical fish.  We were told that the diving was just as good and you can regularly see whale sharks, schools of tuna and tons of other species.

The island itself is also home to two species of monkeys, an indigenous species of Agouti and a massive American crocodile named Tito.  We asked our guide about travelling to see the former prison on the island, but he claimed that the area was really marshy and wasn't worth travelling to.  But there are some great hikes to be had on the island and it is hard to miss (or at least hear) the howler monkeys that seem to be all over the island.  There is a great documentary on Youtube about the island and its years as a prison colony called La Isla Del Diablo that includes a tour of the remains of the prison.

Best of all it is an amazing place to relax.  While we were on the island there were maybe 15 other people on the island.  Waking up to the mosaic of hermit crabs tracks laid on the white sand beach on a nightly basis and swimming in the warm waters at the beach it is hard to imagine  all of the death and human suffering that has occured on the island.  It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever witnessed and it is a well kept secret at this point. 

We were brought back to reality once we reached the mainland and learned about the massive earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan, but for a moment I was able to find a rare hidden paradise.      



Doppelgangling For Dummies

Sure I didn't come up with the idea of a doppelganger as a metaphor, in fact I just stole it from the ending of a How I Met Your Mother episode.  But the corny sentiment of the episode rang true for me. According to German folklore, the doppelganger is an invisible spirit double (literally "Double Goer") that accompanies every living being.   And according to lore, to meet with this apparition in real life is to come face to face with your imminent death.

But what if we have become the ghostly apparition?  A shadow of the dreams and desires that we had when we were young, or worse, unable to even remember what it was that we wanted to be "when we grew up".  What would it be like to run into the spirit that is living the life that you always dreamed about? 

But fear not, there is still time to change, to grow and to beat your doppelganger to the grave. Here are three people who changed their lives and chased their dreams.

3. Jim Morris: You may not know his name but you may have seen his life portrayed in the Disney film The Rookie.  Jim was an aspiring baseball player, who as a result of arm injuries gave up his dream of becoming a big league ball player in 1989.  Having never made it out of the minor leagues he became a high school phys. ed. teacher.  However, Morris made a promise to his high school team, win the District Championship and he would try out for a major league team.  Morris not only tried out, but at the age of 35 he made his major league baseball pitching debut.

2. Martha Stewart: The unstoppable Martha Stewart remains the preeminent lifestyle icon despite her legal battles.  But she started her career as a stockbroker until her early thirties when she started her own catering business after teaching herself to cook using Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking.  Through the success of her catering business she formed an empire of publishing, television and home decor.

1. Rodney Dangerfield:  Rodney Dangerfield really didn't get any respect when he started out after a career in show business as a teenager.   He tried for nine years without any success before resorting to a career selling aluminum siding to support his family.  After putting his dream on hold for more than a decade, Dangerfield continued to write jokes and in the early seventies he made an appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show, that eventually made him a household name in comedy.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

Leave It To a Man Named Joyce

When it comes to commercialized holidays there are some great ones, but none of them come close to every ones favorite, Valentines Day.  It is the crowing achievement of ad executives, marketing gurus and chocolate covered CEOs across the land.  And I blame it all on a man named Joyce.

The celebration of St. Valentines day no doubt preceded Joyce Clyde Hall, but I am naming him in my indictment of this "holiday".  Joyce started off his career as a travelling postcard salesman and eventually founded the Hallmark Card company in the 1920's. And now for every event that happens in our lives, wet her it be your cats kidney surgery or your great aunts roommate's birthday we have a card for it.  And the Superbowl for the card and candy set is Valentines Day.  The National Retail Federation estimates that approximately $15.7 billion will be spent in the US for the Valentines season and that the average person will shell out $116 on traditional Valentines Day merchandise.

So thanks Joyce, just like I pay tax on my gas, computer, and everything else I also have to pay an annual tribute in order to maintain a relationship. The Bro code has existed for as long as there have been men, and leave it to a man named Joyce to help create the boondoggle that is Valentines day.

Ben Roethlisburger and The No Fun League

Big Ben was big man on campus, at least until a pair of sexual assault allegations put a damper on his social life.  And now the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback is getting hit where it hurts, serving a six game suspension for his actions.  But is serving a six game suspension (38% of the season) based on allegations alone a fair punishment for the alleged crime?  While I applaud the move to clean up the image of the NFL, the new personal conduct policy seems to lack not only transparency but also a defined metric for determining just what is good conduct.  But then again wouldn't it be great if the commish could extend his reach outside of the world of football and suspend your local politician, used car dealer or catholic priest?

In his letter to Big Ben, commish Roger Goodall stated that as an NFL player he should be held to a higher standard.  Perhaps some of these guys should also be considered under the Personal Conduct Policy;

3) Tiki Barber: OK, Tiki wasn't technically in the NFL when he left his pregnant wife (with twins) of 11 years for a 23 year old NBC intern.  But the former New York Giant is a broadcaster and is invloved in the NFL, and certainly will not get my vote for husband of the year.

2) Antonio Cromartie:  At 25 Antonio is one of the leagues top cornerbacks and is currently the active leader in illegitimate children.  The New York Jets standout has produced 7 children with numerous women in 5 states.  But it could just be because he can't read the directions on the condoms. A former tutor at Florida State University alleges that he read at a grade 2 level while playing there.

1) Chris Chambers:  According to a number of online sources Chris Chambers of the Kansas City Chiefs was married to the woman he accused of stalking him only two days after the ink was dry on his divorce.  Chambers reportedly filed eleven charges of stalking against his bride before finally giving in and marrying her.      

Forgetable Places #1 - Fox Creek, Alberta

Have you ever read a travel book and been awed by the details of some magnificent or mysterious place.  But do those same books ever tell you about those forgotten an lonesome places located down the highway from the really cool places?  Well these are the places that I so often seem to work in.  I travel alot for my job and these forgettable and often indistinguishable places seem to be the lifeblood of my work.  And of all the places I have visited Fox Creek, Alberta is by far the loneliest and least favourite of all my trips and deserves a fitting tribute.

The beginnings of Fox Creek are entirely dull, yet somehow reminiscent of the current state of the place.  Apparently the town started with a single service station located along a quiet country road.  The Town of Fox Creek website boasts that the area now has apparently 7000 vehicles passing through on a daily basis.  But it is not like they have a choice as the town is located immediately adjacent to Highway 43, roughly between Grande Prairie and Edmonton.  I will hand it to the town planners however, as they graciously did not lower the speed limit on the highway as it passes by Fox Creek.

As far as amenities go I have a few recommendations.  For fine dining I would suggest Subway or the Sobeys grocery store as the safest choices.  For entertainment the choices are a little bit slim, but there are a few viable options.  Free Playboy Television at the Foxwood Inn almost never disappoints and throwing rocks against the wall at the Winks convenience store is probably more entertaining than you would think.

On my last visit to Fox Creek I asked a local contractor about living in the Town.  He was originally from BC and I was surprised to hear him say that is wasn't too bad living there.  But he proceeded to follow up that statement with "if you don't mind working every day and having absolutely nothing to do".Perhaps the best description I have heard of Fox Creek is that is was a glorified truck stop.  So next time you think your neighbourhood, town, or job sucks take a trip to beautiful Fox Creek, Alberta!  Or if you are bored check out this stunning gallery of images from the Town located here and I promise you will promise to never say you are bored again.



  

   

The Beautiful People

On a whim, I typed the words "beautiful people" into google and although I did not know what I was looking for, I was surprised at what I found.  The first entry in google was a dating site called beautifulpeople.com.  I am in a relationship and even met my partner on the Internet, so I was not looking to join a dating website.  But I was compelled to see if the site was as shallow as I feared it would be.  And I was not disappointed. It turns out there is a club for the beautiful people and they even have a website. 

Billing itself as the largest network of attractive people in the world, the concept is that members decide through online voting who is considered "beautiful" enough to be granted access to the website.  In their own words "BeautifulPeople does not define beauty but gives an accurate representation of what society's ideal of beauty is". While the application process does allow you to include profile text, the overall feel of the website does not make it seem like Mother Theresa exemplifies the kind of beauty they are talking about.

The website even allows you to view those peoples profiles which did not make the cut.  Browsing a few of the rejected profiles, purely for research purposes, I did not notice anywhere for the applicant to include details such as volunteer service, recent random acts of kindness or number of  infectious diseases cured. Although I can only speculate as to why they were not approved for entry I can only assume it was because they were not good looking enough.

Perhaps I prescribe to a different definition of beauty, but I also don't think I could get access to the website on my picture alone.  While no one can tell another person who to be attracted to, I hope that it is more complicated than BeautifulPeople makes it seem.  But then again, greatpersonality.com does not make for the catchiest website.  All I know is that a thumbnail picture could never summarize the worth of the beautiful people in my life.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. - Confucius

So what is it all about....

No I am not able to provide answers to life's infinite mysteries but I can try to tell you what my blog is about.  And I am formulating the concept as I am writing this sentence.  At this point I will call it eclectic and insightful, a whirlwind tour through topics you didn't know you cared about.  And when it fails I will never admit I ever had a blog, delete this account and I will tell anybody who asks that I think blogging is for woeful slackers who have too much time on their hands.

I have no concept of what a blog should be, but at this point it is just my personal space to write about all the things that I wish I had wrote about.  The goal is to get one reader and from there maybe two, but even without it I already feel like I accomplished something.  Besides, I am kind of interested in woodworking too, so this might run out of gas in a week or two!